Number 522 - Bon Jovi
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Number 522
Bon Jovi
"You Give Love a Bad Name"
(1986)
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Genre:Rock
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I know what your all thinking ........ Uh oh. But you never know, the wailing shrill of Celine Dion might be a good enough deterrent to repel an alien invasion on Earth! Clever people these at our space agencies. Without further ado here is the galactic list........
1:Here Comes The Sun by The Beatles (er .. hello, shouldn't it be Here comes the Earth? Are aliens really that bad at navigating?)
2:Come Fly With Me by Frank Sinatra (Sure, aliens would give up their technology to fly in a DC10 with Frank, wouldn't you?)
3:Rocket Man by Elton John (Oh great .... a Queen with big sunnies riding a missile to greet our extraterrestrial visitors!)
4:Up Where We Belong by Joe Cocker & Jennifer Warne (Wtf does that mean? Up where we belong? Humans don't like gravity anymore? Zero g is cool now?)
5:Imagine by John Lennon (Cool, now we're asking aliens to grasp the idea of anti establishment, just what the world needs .... rebelling aliens in leather on Harleys flipping the bird)
6:Flashdance by Irene Cara (ffs, Flashdance? Watch the aliens wave bye bye ... No intelligent life here Jim)
7:Walk of Life by Dire Straits (Thats right, rub it in their alien faces that we, Earth, have different cultures and colour whereas they are midgets with bug eyes and all coloured grey)
8:Fly by Celine Dion (I bet you up to now, aliens had never contemplated the thought of suicide. Wait till they hear this song)
9:Rockin' all Over The World by Status Quo (Now you know why aliens are bald, the amount of finger scratching on their noggins trying to work out Earthlings has finally taken its toll)
10:I Believe i Can Fly by R Kelly (Really? Lets take you in our spaceship and try out that theory shall we? Aliens must think our parents are all our Auntie and Uncles as well)
The only question i have about this list is the obvious missing songs. Why oh why is David Bowie's "Space Oddity" and Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" not considered? SHEESH! (Maybe aliens don't do drugs .... thats why)
Hairy Spice
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Jon Bon Jovi
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Richie Sambora
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David Bryan
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Tico Torres
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Young Gun Spice
Following the completion of the tour, the band went on hiatus. During their time off, Jon Bon Jovi wrote the soundtrack for Young Guns II, which was released in 1990 as the Blaze of Glory album. The record produced two hit singles in the number one title track and the number 12 "Miracle," as well as earning Grammy and Oscar nominations. The following year, Bon Jovi reunited to record their fifth album, Keep the Faith, which was released in the fall of 1992. While the album didn't match the blockbuster status of its predecessors, largely because musical tastes had shifted in the four years between New Jersey and Keep the Faith, it was nevertheless a big hit, and its more straightforward, anthemic sound produced the hit single "Bed of Roses." A hits collection, Cross Road, followed in 1994, and in the fall of 1995, they released These Days, which proved to be a bigger success in Europe than America. After appearing in the 1996 film Moonlight and Valentino, Jon Bon Jovi released his first official solo album in the summer of 1997.
Old Spice
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Roll call ....
For the Beatles see Numbers 947, 894 & 587
For Frank Sinatra see Number 933
For Elton John see Number 531
For Joe Cocker see Number 633
For John Lennon see Number 639
For Dire Straits see Number 610
For Celine Dion see Number 910
For more Celine Dion visit MM Vol 1 # 130
For R Kelly visit MM Vol 1 # 127
For David Bowie see Number 634
For Bruce Springsteen see Number 817
What does Rolling Stone think about Bon Jovi?
Maybe I'm being unfair. Nobody listens to Bon Jovi's brand of pop metal for its lyrics – they listen because they want to bang their heads lightly. It's a canny marketing strategy, but Bon Jovi's band is barely functional: guitar solos pop up like afterthoughts, bass lines whine like spoiled children, and Jon Bon Jovi's voice is double- and triple-tracked in halfhearted attempts to cloak its blandness. Bon Jovi stumbles into sentimental territory on "Never Say Goodbye," but delicacy is not the band's strong suit – Meat Loaf is subtle compared to these guys. The callous clinker "Remember when we lost the keys/And you lost more than that in my back seat" is Bon Jovi's idea of evocative storytelling.
For LeeAnn Rimes visit MM Vol 1 # 100
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How many clichés can you squeeze into a pop song? Probably not as many as Jon Bon Jovi can. Listen to "Raise Your Hands," from his new album Slippery When Wet. (I know, that's two already, but titles don't count.) Bon Jovi lets loose with nasty reputation, sticky situation, ain't nobody better, show me what you can do, under the gun, out on the run, set the night on fire, playin' to win. Pretty impressive, and that's only the first verse.
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Jon Bon Jovi and his band serve up condescending sentiment, reducing every emotional statement to a barefaced cliché – either because they think that's all their audience can comprehend or because that's all they can comprehend. On Slippery When Wet, Bon Jovi sounds like bad fourth-generation metal, a smudgy Xerox of Quiet Riot. [JIMMY GUTERMAN(RS 486 - November 6, 1986)]
Sounds like a bad 4th generation metal? Hoo boy Mr Guterman ..... didn't you so just got that one wrong. 9 million times. ~ crowbarred.
For Meat Loaf see Number 607
Artist Fact File
Name:Bon Jovi.....................Related to³:No-one
Yrs Active:1983 to now............Site:www.bonjovi.com
Best Song¹:Living on a prayer ....#1fan:http://www.backstagejbj.com/
Best Album²:Slippery when wet.....Grammy Awards:0
Albums Sold:100 Million +.........Next best thing:Def Leppard
¹Number of downloads WINMX ²Artistdirect choice ³Associated acts or collaborations
Rolling Stone Top 500 Songs ranked this song at Number (Look buddy ....) and the Album ranked at Number (... we thought it was tripe) (tripe? 9+ million albums tripe?)
This song has a crowbarred of 74.6 out of 108 pts
Click play to hear the rest of the album
Tags:Bon Jovi, 1986, Rock, Beatles, Elton John, John Lennon, Frank Sinatra, Goo Goo Dolls,YouTube, Music Video, Rolling Stone Magazine, Crowbarred, New Zealand, Crowbarred Unleashed, The Definitive 1000 Songs Of All Time, Mellow Mix Volume 1, Mellow Mix Volume 2, Mellow Mix Volume 3, Mellow Mix Volume 4, Mellow Mix Volume 5, Mellow Mix Volume 6, Mellow Mix Volume 7, Mellow Mix Volume 9, Mellow Mix Volume 10, Mellow Mix Volume 11, Mellow Mix Volume 12 
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Labels: Bon Jovi 522
4 Comments:
Nice to see u back
Thank u ... its good 2 be back
Welcome back old man!!
wha? Old? ^%$^$&^# Lucky for you i lost my walking frame
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