What does Rolling Stone think
about Bon Jovi?
How many clichés can you squeeze into a pop song? Probably not as many as Jon Bon Jovi can. Listen to "Raise Your Hands," from his new album Slippery When Wet. (I know, that's two already, but titles don't count.) Bon Jovi lets loose with nasty reputation, sticky situation, ain't nobody better, show me what you can do, under the gun, out on the run, set the night on fire, playin' to win. Pretty impressive, and that's only the first verse. Maybe I'm being unfair. Nobody listens to Bon Jovi's brand of pop metal for its lyrics – they listen because they want to bang their heads lightly. It's a canny marketing strategy, but Bon Jovi's band is barely functional: guitar solos pop up like afterthoughts, bass lines whine like spoiled children, and Jon Bon Jovi's voice is double- and triple-tracked in halfhearted attempts to cloak its blandness. Bon Jovi stumbles into sentimental territory on "Never Say Goodbye," but delicacy is not the band's strong suit – Meat Loaf is subtle compared to these guys. The callous clinker "Remember when we lost the keys/And you lost more than that in my back seat" is Bon Jovi's idea of evocative storytelling.
Jon Bon Jovi and his band serve up condescending sentiment, reducing every emotional statement to a barefaced cliché – either because they think that's all their audience can comprehend or because that's all they can comprehend. On Slippery When Wet, Bon Jovi sounds like bad fourth-generation metal, a smudgy Xerox of Quiet Riot. [JIMMY GUTERMAN(RS 486 - November 6, 1986)]
Sounds like a bad 4th generation metal? Hoo boy Mr Guterman ..... didn't you so just got that one wrong. 9 million times. ~ crowbarred.
Artist Fact File
Name:Bon Jovi.....................Related to³:No-one
Best Album²:Slippery when wet.....Grammy Awards:0
Albums Sold:100 Million +.........Next best thing:Def Leppard
¹Number of downloads WINMX ²Artistdirect choice ³Associated acts or collaborations
Rolling Stone Top 500 Songs ranked this song at Number (Look buddy ....) and the Album ranked at Number (... we thought it was tripe) (tripe? 9+ million albums tripe?)
This song has a crowbarred of 74.6 out of 108 pts