Saturday, March 08, 2008

Number 522 - Bon Jovi

Number 522

Bon Jovi

"You Give Love a Bad Name"

Greetings Earthlings. Astronauts on the International Space Station (ISS) are to get an unusual treat (or is that threat?) - an MP3 player loaded with a playlist of songs specially chosen for people in orbit or visiting space aliens. The top ten was selected by a 14-year-old Norwegian girl, Therese Miljeteig, who won a competition staged by the European Space Agency (ESA).
I know what your all thinking ........ Uh oh. But you never know, the wailing shrill of Celine Dion might be a good enough deterrent to repel an alien invasion on Earth! Clever people these at our space agencies. Without further ado here is the galactic list........
1:Here Comes The Sun by The Beatles (er .. hello, shouldn't it be Here comes the Earth? Are aliens really that bad at navigating?)
2:Come Fly With Me by Frank Sinatra (Sure, aliens would give up their technology to fly in a DC10 with Frank, wouldn't you?)
3:Rocket Man by Elton John (Oh great .... a Queen with big sunnies riding a missile to greet our extraterrestrial visitors!)
4:Up Where We Belong by Joe Cocker & Jennifer Warne (Wtf does that mean? Up where we belong? Humans don't like gravity anymore? Zero g is cool now?)
5:Imagine by John Lennon (Cool, now we're asking aliens to grasp the idea of anti establishment, just what the world needs .... rebelling aliens in leather on Harleys flipping the bird)
6:Flashdance by Irene Cara (ffs, Flashdance? Watch the aliens wave bye bye ... No intelligent life here Jim)
7:Walk of Life by Dire Straits (Thats right, rub it in their alien faces that we, Earth, have different cultures and colour whereas they are midgets with bug eyes and all coloured grey)
8:Fly by Celine Dion (I bet you up to now, aliens had never contemplated the thought of suicide. Wait till they hear this song)
9:Rockin' all Over The World by Status Quo (Now you know why aliens are bald, the amount of finger scratching on their noggins trying to work out Earthlings has finally taken its toll)
10:I Believe i Can Fly by R Kelly (Really? Lets take you in our spaceship and try out that theory shall we? Aliens must think our parents are all our Auntie and Uncles as well)
The only question i have about this list is the obvious missing songs. Why oh why is David Bowie's "Space Oddity" and Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" not considered? SHEESH! (Maybe aliens don't do drugs .... thats why)
Hairy Spice
Few bands embodied the era of pop-metal like Bon Jovi. By merging Def Leppard's loud but tuneful metal with Bruce Springsteen's working-class sensibilities, the New Jersey-based quintet developed an ingratiatingly melodic and professional variation of hard rock -- one that appealed as much to teenagers as to housewives. Bon Jovi skillfully employed professional songwriters to give their songs, especially their power ballads, an appropriately commercial sheen, inaugurating a trend that dominated mainstream hard rock and metal for the next decade.
Jon Bon Jovi
They also made simple performance videos that emphasized lead singer Jon Bon Jovi's photogenic good looks, and these clips helped propel 1986's Slippery When Wet and 1988's New Jersey into multi-platinum status around the world. Both records were criticized for being more pop than metal, as well as being targeted toward teenyboppers, yet the group managed to subtly change its image in the early '90s, moving away from metal and concentrating on straightforward arena rock and big ballads. The shift in style worked, and Bon Jovi were the only American pop-metal band of the '80s to retain a sizable audience in the '90s.
Richie Sambora
Jon Bon Jovi spent most of his adolescence ditching school to play rock & roll, usually in local bands with his friend David Rashbaum. Bongiovi's cousin Tony owned the famous New York recording studio the Power Station, which was where Jon hung out. He was hired as a janitor, and soon he was recording demos at the Power Station with several famous musicians, including members of the E Street Band and Aldo Nova. One of these demos, "Runaway," became a hit on local New Jersey radio, and Bongiovi formed Bon Jovi to support the song, recruiting not only Rashbaum, but also guitarist Dave Sabo, bassist Alec John Such, and drummer Tico Torres. Soon, Bon Jovi was the subject of a major-label bidding war, and the group -- or, according to some reports, just Bongiovi -- signed to Polygram/Mercury in 1983. Upon signing, Jon changed his last name to Bon Jovi in order to de-emphasize his ethnic background, and Rashbaum adopted his middle name Bryan as his last name. Before the group entered the studio, Bon Jovi replaced Sabo with Richie Sambora.
David Bryan
Bon Jovi's eponymous debut album was released in 1984, and "Runaway" became a Top 40 hit. Following its success, Tony Bongiovi sued the band, claiming he developed their successful sound; the group settled out of court. The following year, 7800 Fahrenheit was released and went gold. Despite the band's respectable success, Bon Jovi weren't becoming the superstars they had hoped, and they changed their approach for their next album, Slippery When Wet. Hiring professional songwriter Desmond Child as a collaborator, the group wrote 30 songs and auditioned them for local New Jersey and New York teenagers, basing the album's running order on their opinions.
Tico Torres
After ditching the original cover of a busty woman in a wet T-shirt for the title traced in water on a garbage bag, Slippery When Wet was released in 1986. Supported by several appealing, straightforward videos that showcased the photogenic Jon, the album eventually sold nine million copies in the U.S. alone, helping usher in the era of pop-metal. Two songs, "You Give Love a Bad Name" and "Livin' on a Prayer," reached number one, while "Wanted Dead or Alive" reached the Top Ten, and Bon Jovi were established as superstars. Bon Jovi replicated the Slippery When Wet formula for 1988's New Jersey, which shot to number one upon its release. New Jersey was only slightly less successful than its predecessor, selling five million copies and generating two number one singles, "Bad Medicine" and "I'll Be There for You," as well as the Top Ten hits "Born to Be My Baby," "Lay Your Hands on Me," and "Living in Sin." In 1989, the band supported Cher, who was then dating Sambora, on her Heart of Stone album, which was recorded while the group was in the midst of an 18-month international tour.
Young Gun Spice
Following the completion of the tour, the band went on hiatus. During their time off, Jon Bon Jovi wrote the soundtrack for Young Guns II, which was released in 1990 as the Blaze of Glory album. The record produced two hit singles in the number one title track and the number 12 "Miracle," as well as earning Grammy and Oscar nominations. The following year, Bon Jovi reunited to record their fifth album, Keep the Faith, which was released in the fall of 1992. While the album didn't match the blockbuster status of its predecessors, largely because musical tastes had shifted in the four years between New Jersey and Keep the Faith, it was nevertheless a big hit, and its more straightforward, anthemic sound produced the hit single "Bed of Roses." A hits collection, Cross Road, followed in 1994, and in the fall of 1995, they released These Days, which proved to be a bigger success in Europe than America. After appearing in the 1996 film Moonlight and Valentino, Jon Bon Jovi released his first official solo album in the summer of 1997.
Old Spice
Three years later, Bon Jovi regrouped and released Crush. "It's My Life" and "Thank You for Loving Me" were a chart hits, and Bon Jovi's star power soared beyond their wildest dreams. Crush eventually went double platinum in the U.S. and sold eight million copies worldwide, but Bon Jovi stayed focus. Within a year they returned with an eighth studio effort, Bounce, which appeared in fall 2002. Tours across the globe as well as dates with the Goo Goo Dolls fared well. In 2003 Bon Jovi re-recorded many of their most well-known songs for the release This Left Feels Right and followed it in 2004 with a DVD companion of the same title. The ambitious 100,000,000 Bon Jovi Fans Can't Be Wrong four-CD/one-DVD box set of rarities arrived later that November, followed by the all-new Have a Nice Day and a greatest-hits anthology called Cross Road in 2005. The band spent the following year in the studio, putting the finishing touches on a collection of pop-infused heartland country anthems. The resulting Lost Highway, which featured duets with LeAnn Rimes and Big & Rich, arrived in the summer of 2007 and grabbed the band a healthy, new-country music fan base in the process. Lost Highway's cross-genre formula proved to be quite potent indeed, securing the band its third number one album in the U.S., as well as making it to number one in Japan, Australia, Europe, and Canada. ~ [Stephen Thomas Erlewine, All Music Guide]
Roll call ....
For the Beatles see Numbers 947, 894 & 587
For Frank Sinatra see Number 933
For Elton John see Number 531
For Joe Cocker see Number 633
For John Lennon see Number 639
For Dire Straits see Number 610
For Celine Dion see Number 910
For more Celine Dion visit MM Vol 1 # 130
For R Kelly visit MM Vol 1 # 127
For David Bowie see Number 634
For Bruce Springsteen see Number 817
For LeeAnn Rimes visit MM Vol 1 # 100
What does Rolling Stone think about Bon Jovi?
How many clichés can you squeeze into a pop song? Probably not as many as Jon Bon Jovi can. Listen to "Raise Your Hands," from his new album Slippery When Wet. (I know, that's two already, but titles don't count.) Bon Jovi lets loose with nasty reputation, sticky situation, ain't nobody better, show me what you can do, under the gun, out on the run, set the night on fire, playin' to win. Pretty impressive, and that's only the first verse.
Maybe I'm being unfair. Nobody listens to Bon Jovi's brand of pop metal for its lyrics – they listen because they want to bang their heads lightly. It's a canny marketing strategy, but Bon Jovi's band is barely functional: guitar solos pop up like afterthoughts, bass lines whine like spoiled children, and Jon Bon Jovi's voice is double- and triple-tracked in halfhearted attempts to cloak its blandness. Bon Jovi stumbles into sentimental territory on "Never Say Goodbye," but delicacy is not the band's strong suit – Meat Loaf is subtle compared to these guys. The callous clinker "Remember when we lost the keys/And you lost more than that in my back seat" is Bon Jovi's idea of evocative storytelling.
Jon Bon Jovi and his band serve up condescending sentiment, reducing every emotional statement to a barefaced cliché – either because they think that's all their audience can comprehend or because that's all they can comprehend. On Slippery When Wet, Bon Jovi sounds like bad fourth-generation metal, a smudgy Xerox of Quiet Riot. [JIMMY GUTERMAN(RS 486 - November 6, 1986)]
Sounds like a bad 4th generation metal? Hoo boy Mr Guterman ..... didn't you so just got that one wrong. 9 million times. ~ crowbarred.
For Meat Loaf see Number 607
Artist Fact File
Name:Bon Jovi.....................Related to³:No-one
Yrs Active:1983 to
Best Song¹:Living on a prayer ....#1fan:
Best Album²:Slippery when wet.....Grammy Awards:0
Albums Sold:100 Million +.........Next best thing:Def Leppard
¹Number of downloads WINMX ²Artistdirect choice ³Associated acts or collaborations
Other songs with reference to Bon Jovi #575, #605, #609, #644, #765
Rolling Stone Top 500 Songs ranked this song at Number (Look buddy ....) and the Album ranked at Number (... we thought it was tripe) (tripe? 9+ million albums tripe?)
This song has a crowbarred of 74.6 out of 108 pts

Click play to hear the rest of the album
Search Artist here:1-2-3-A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z
By The Year 1955 to 2005:



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice to see u back

11:29 am  
Blogger crowbarred said...

Thank u ... its good 2 be back

7:50 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Welcome back old man!!

12:52 am  
Blogger crowbarred said...

wha? Old? ^%$^$&^#&# Lucky for you i lost my walking frame

8:34 pm  

Post a comment

<< Home